Heart of Eternal 10.26.2017

index

Art...Music
Game Dev.
Planet Eater


Resume for anything maybe.

I'm trying to find some work that's more artistic. Collaborate on old fashion video games, or something professional?

Logo? T-shirt? Gmail byer888.



Nobody seems to understand much about dyslexia. School was impossible for me. I would listen to every single word, but my brain just doesn't retain language very well. My thoughts work visually, or more like an experience, and trying to feel the connections between different words and their meaning becomes exhausting. How was I supposed to identify that as a kid, told nothing and assuming I wasn't different.

I've been completely alone in my life for large parts of it. I grew up playing video games, wondering around empty playgrounds, and raising myself in a home that always had food on the table. It's always felt like an alien planet, and people are full of nothing but hate ever since I can remember. My early school experience was so bad that I was put into private schools, but plunging into an elitist high school with no preparation wasn't much better.

Dropping out to work full time I wasn't sure what to do with myself. The world was complicated, and that misinformation was overwhelming. But the universe was amazing. It's really easy to prefer the sanity of nature. Everyone likes to hike. Maybe that's a starving artist, some kind of disembodied wonderment.

Six different schools made it hard for me to keep friendships. I can understand now how important friends are. More than having parents maybe, although what's the difference really. People are people. But rats without other rats become less intelligent, and we're no different.

It's interesting that jerks are popular. That people will trust confidence just because it's parenting their insecurity, which theatrical society is cultivating. Is this a visualization of an imbalanced egotism? Worrying about other people isn't as benefiting as being there for them is. That judgmental discomfort in other people always made me feel like I'm trespassing. A lot of people can't even stand to talk to each other.

Would you rather have a fake experience where you're utterly suffocated by a patronizing effect? Or a real experience with relationships that come from a natural thought process.

Knowing about how something works is a solution because little changes can gravitate. It seems like everyone has an anxiety disorder sometimes, and maybe that's a testament to our culture of chemical infliction. But the solution isn't a pill, and we know it. We treat the symptoms and promote diseases because money is life and we're up against mortality issues.

There's a permaculture movement with a great way of putting it. We need to fit ourselves into the flow of nature. Seems like the major thing getting in our way is how we interpret other people, and that conflict of babel. Even though all of us fear the same thing, and hope for the love which enlightens it.

Language is an experiment towards understanding. It's not an exact science but nobody is patient anymore. We don't even appreciate others because of the bondage and ridicule that we desperately need feelings of superiority to remedy. It's so easy to misinterpret words because we misinterpret each other to our advantage.

Imagine how a prehistoric culture without any technology could be more advanced then we are now because of their relationships. All we have is each other.